The Guilt: First Night Away

Last weekend I left Mrs T for a whole night for the first time. It was tough.

Before she was born, I thought nipping away for a few days would be no problem. It is not often I admit this (as my husband knows only too well) but I was wrong.

After getting in a small strop with the husband for getting back from football later than expected (and rather inebriated), I put Mrs T to the back of mind and let Cal along with her Granny, Grandad, Aunty and Uncle look after her.

I had a great night with the girls on a hen do and focused on having a good time and celebrating with close friends. But when I got back to the accommadation that night, I realised that not only were my boobs about to explode but I was really missing her.

It didn’t feel right.

I have become so used to being close to her before I go to bed and feeding her. I felt something was missing, and yes, I felt a bit guilty – that I had a responsibilty to be there for her.

Must say I was rather pleased to hear my absence hadn’t gone unnoticed and she was looking around for me when she awoke in the morning.

As Mrs T has got older the bond between us has grown so much stronger as her interaction skills develop. The smiles, the garbled talking and touching (even the occasional slapping and pinching) are so precious, it only makes it far more difficult to leave them than when they are younger and aren’t fully aware.

One thing my night has away from her has taught me is to appreciate even more the time we have together and enjoy that wonderful interaction. I can also rest easy in the thought that it will be a very long time before I have to leave her overnight again.



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Wander Mum

I've always loved to travel so when my two daughters came along, I didn't stop. Travelling as a family can have its ups and downs but I love showing my children the world and helping others navigate travelling with children in tow.

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